Maseiga’s* Story
Leaving Samoa at the age of 18 years was a godsend for Maseiga, who was keen to escape the painful memories of her childhood. Maseiga shares her story of marriage, raising seven children and reuniting with her estranged mother...

I know very little of my father because he died when I was seven years old. I remember his face clearly though, it is always there in front of me. My father was from the main island of Upolu, Samoa. He was a fisherman; he went fishing every day to feed our family. I have never met my grandparents or his siblings, though I know of some of their names. There are five children in our family and I’m the eldest.

After our father died we moved to Savaii, the other main island, where we lived with my mother’s family. During that time one of my brothers twisted his ankle and it kept swelling. My mother took him and the other young ones, to find a traditional healer in Apia, leaving me and my sister behind. This was the last time I was to see my mother for many years.

I was brought up by my uncle, and educated in Savaii. I really enjoyed school, and was often the top of the class. After Form 4 I was asked by the sisters to teach the new entrants at the village Catholic school, and I did so for a couple of years.

My happiest times were whenever there was a village siva (dance). My girl cousins and I would secretly plan to finish all our chores in time and have our dresses pressed under our mattresses. When it was time, we'd sneak out to the church hall and dance the twist and cha-cha-cha all night. When my uncle found out he would scold my aunty for not looking after us properly, and we sometimes got a hiding. But it was always worth it - I loved dancing.

Overall though, I was unhappy. I felt I was treated differently because I wasn’t a child of the family. In the morning I was expected to carry out most of the household chores on my own. I'd arrive at school exhausted and upset. I felt lonely and thought about my mother a lot, wondering why she never came back.

In 1965 I was transferred to teach at St Mary's Primary School in Apia. I found out my mother had married again and where she was living. I asked one of my colleagues, who was from the same village, to find her. Then one day my mother and her new husband turned up at the school to see me. It was awkward. We talked about small things. I didn’t ask her to explain why she never came back for my sister and I. But inside I was very angry and upset.

Soon after my mother’s visit, came my opportunity to come to New Zealand. Samoan girls were being sought by a college in Wellington to work as housekeepers and I was asked to go. I was over the moon. I thought, “thank God I can get away from here.”

It was 1967 and we travelled by plane from Samoa to Auckland. We wore thin clothes and when we arrived in Auckland, we were all shivering. We were so cold. When we got to the airport there were all these sisters waiting with our coats. We then caught the train down to Wellington. We settled in really well because there were 19 of us Samoan girls in one big house.

There wasn’t anything that I didn’t like about New Zealand. I loved the cleanliness of the country - you no longer had to chase flies from your food! Everything in the College was on time and you had to do all the jobs properly. When we went out during the day we had to let the matron know where we were going and we had to report back by 6 o’clock. We weren’t allowed to go out at night to siva.

I had relatives living in Wellington, and through them I met my husband, Sefo*. He would travel up from Christchurch to visit his sister who was training to be a nun. He knew no one else in Wellington and was referred to my relatives where he stayed whenever he was in town.

One day, I received a letter from Sefo. We continued to write to each other for a year. It was funny: when he suggested I take him with me to Savaii, I knew what he meant. I could feel that he was the one for me and on his next visit we got engaged. We found a ring, contacted the priest to bless our engagement, and Sefo talked to my relatives. They were happy and put on a big wedding for us. The whole time I thought of my mother and my sisters, but there was no way to contact them.

We came to Christchurch right after the wedding and found a flat. We were married for one month when I found out I was pregnant. It was a surprise to be pregnant that early. I was so looking forward to having the baby. Sefo was also excited, so happy. He said “I don’t care if it is a boy or a girl, as long as I have children.” Another two babies followed before we moved to this house where we are now.

It wasn’t easy being pregnant. It was a new experience and I didn’t have anyone to talk to, or to help me with my pregnancy. Sefo was working and I was at home by myself. We attended a Samoan church, but I didn’t know anyone well enough so I didn’t have any support there. I had trouble understanding all the stuff the doctor told me and I had to ask him to explain it in way that was easy to understand. I felt even lonelier that my mother was not with me.

After we had our first three daughters, Sefo predicted we would have another two girls, followed by a boy. I said, "I can't go that far!" When it came true, he said, "I want to have a brother for my son." We had a second son and I said, "That's it, no more."

There are no words in the world to explain how hard it is to have seven children. But the best thing that I discovered was how very supportive my husband was. When our first baby was born, his foreman at work would tell him to finish early, come home and help me out. That was the nicest thing that anyone could do for us. Sefo washed the baby's nappies, cleaned the house and cooked; it was like having another woman in the house. He would joke when he came home and say, “Oh the washing line must have missed me." He carried on helping like this right through all our children. I don’t know if any other father would compare to Sefo.

The sad thing is we didn’t plan our family properly. Sefo worked hard and his wages were stretched to clothe and feed our family, and pay for their education. We couldn't save any money. If we had planned things it would have been better for us. Now that our children are older we hope for them to help provide for us in return. Fa'aaloalo (respect) for your parents is very important in the fa’aSamoa. If you honour your mother and your father as said in the bible, you will lengthen your life.

The fa'aSamoa starts within the family and spreads out to the community. We taught our children Samoan when they were young – we had lessons at home so they could understand, read and write Samoan. Sadly, their Samoan was gradually lost when they went to school. Sefo wants to go to live in Samoa but I prefer New Zealand. I don’t want to live in Samoa while the children are here. Your future is your children and that’s where you should be.

I’m not going anywhere at the moment anyway because my mother is here with me. After her husband died, my brother brought her out to New Zealand. Now it’s my turn to look after her and I've been nursing her at home for three years now. Mum is 91 years old and because of her old age, she’s acting like a baby now. She has dementia.

When I think back, Mum wasn’t there for me when I needed her. Now when she needs me, I am here to look after her. It is so hard. I am thinking of taking Mum to a home when I can’t look after her properly. I don’t think it will be long before that happens. There are places I know that she will be treated well but I feel guilty. Many people have encouraged me to put her into care, but it’s hard to let go.

I enjoy going to housie and I sing in two choirs – an English choir and a Samoan choir. I love dressmaking and run a small business from home. I have been sewing for over 30 years for the Samoan community.

Before I was married and had children, I didn’t have any goals. No one told us how to set goals and what to aim for. Now I’m starting to think about my husband and myself. I would really like to take time away with Sefo and have a holiday.

*Names have been changed